One More Month Of Soccer Madness

By SamGoma

Eish, it’s the last month of soccer madness for the season and I will be a very relieved witchdoctor when it’s over. It is now the month of true penis expansion and I’ve been working day and night to brew potions for many matches. Muti for everybody.

While some of them worked and some didn’t, SamGoma has enjoyed the ups and downs, smiles and frowns. The all-German Champions League final at the end of May is going to be beautiful majitas, but that will come in time.

In Mzansi, the title race is burning holes in the fans brains. Who will win? Will it be Kaizer Chiefs or Platinum Stars? I will be honest and tell you that I hope someone places a spell on the Amakhosi. It will be a great day for South African football if the men from Rustenburg can be paid a visit by some money-bearing rats, besides the guys who work at SAFA.

Platinum-StarsIt’s time we shine like or name suggests.

The curse of no television broadcast which was placed on the Buccaneers during their match against TP Mazembe in that kak country made me so upset I slaughtered three of Oom Kortbroek’s prize goats. Lets hope uVodacom or MTN replace the simcard that was confiscated from our favourite reporter – Macarena Mbuli. Eish baba we were woried about you. Those big chiefs at the SABC should start giving you danger pay.

Fortunately, the ancestors smiled upon a few teams this weekend and some were finally rewarded for their hard work. Ajax, Juventus and Galatasaray joined Manchester United in the glory of league success with PSG and Barcelona not far behind on their way to the party.

José Mourinho seems ever closer to leaving Madrid for a reunion with his former club Chelsea and it’s about time. I like La Liga a lot baba, but since that guy came into the picture things have gone sour in Spain.

Even though Rafa Benitéz knows he won’t have a job at Chelsea next season, he won’t want his current team to let Champions League qualification slip from their grasp when they face Tottenham, who are fighting for the same cause, as are Arsenal. If the tsotsi-funded London club is his desired destination, then the mampara Mourinho will also be hoping they don’t fail.

Jose-Mourinho-BuccaneersMaybe he wants to coach Pirates next?

With transfer rumours starting to become reality, I can only wonder if FIFA fair play rules will become as real. The names and numbers attached to those players are already sounding like a lot of money baba.

All I can say is expect the unexpected majitas.

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