Premature Springbokspan deur ou Dick

By Dick van Dyk
Captain my captain

Captain my captain

OK. I suppose I better get with the programme… And show Heyneke how to pick a Springbok side that will do something other than defend the opposition into surrender and put the crowd to sleep.
Yes, I know the “squad” will only be announced later today, but I’ve decided to pick the teams. First-up, my starting XV for the Italy and Scotland encounters:
1. Beast (because any man who can hold up Anton Bressler by his shirt for 30 seconds is just freaking awesome)
2. Bissie (because he’s as hungry as hell and that, and nothing else, gives him the edge over Adriaan Strauss)
3. Jannie (because Bissie will lift his game)
4. Ebentjie (he’s too big not to pick)
5. Pieter Steph du Toit (that tackle last week against the Bulls sealed the deal)
6. My dog, Naas (because he can fetch a ball better than any dom flanker) otherwise, if he’s not available, Siya Collisions will do
7. Lappies (no argument here… the man’s been playing his lungs out)
8. Ryan Kankowski (because he will have only one thing driving him – giving John Plumtree the middle finger, whereas Duanetjie will be in the sin bin within the first 30 seconds and Spies is a Bull)
9. Hougi (he’s earned the right to play in his actual position rather than camping it up on the wing)
10. Saint Patrick (because Morne bores me senseless and defends like a turnstile in a hurricane)
11. Lwazi Mvovo (because Bryan Habana is just SO last year, dahlinks)
12. Jan Serfontein (because anything’s better than an Ebersohn)
13. Jean Div (because we’re caught in a John Smit scenario here… play a better centre and lose a captain or play an average centre and keep the captain)
14. Willie le Roux (an absolute biscuit)
15. Joe van die Kaap af (the only man who makes a Stormer’s shirt look good)
And now… the side to take on Samoa… (all completely expendable, of course)
1. Coenie (the only one of these okes who actually has a hope in hell of moering a Samoan harder than a Samoan can moer back)
2. Chiliboy (give him a Bok shirt and smile as you wave him bye-bye)
3. Trevor Nyakane (cannon fodder)
4. Oom Flip (because he won’t notice a full contact hit from a burly Samoan)
5. Juandre (see Oom Flip)
6. My dog Naas (because he can run faster than a Samoan)
7. Arno (sommer because he’s a Bull)
8. Duanetjie (because when he’s not in the sin bin he will inflict pain)
9. Jano (See Arno)
10. Elton (because that hairdo is enought to give the Samoans a big skrik)
11. Bryan Habrannas (experience and such)
12. Lionel Mapoe (the Lions won’t miss him)
13. The clever Ebersohn (because Australian rugby needs more Ebersohns)
14. JJ Engelbrecht (see Arno)
15. Krusty (because only Heyneke misses him when he’s injured)
Kief piele, (Awesome Dicks)
As jy skiem Dick se spanne is so bietjie pap – tune ons, en join sommer ons Unofficial Springboks SuperBru pool
Net so vir die rekord, Kortbroek stem nie heeltemal saam met die span(ne) nie, maar sê sommer nou al thanks vir bra Dick wat die moeite gedoen het om bietjie hieroor te dink.
Onthou vanaand jam die Slashdogs in Jozi by die ou Back 2 Basix (die nuwe Bohemian) Vir meer details click hier
Die gig gaan pomp. Check julle daar en onthou – jy is net so goed soos jou laaste game…
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