SamGomas Bones for the Weekend

By SamGoma

SamGoma-Klippies

I woke up this morning with a pain in my head and realised the rugby was already over. Eish, I’m sad I missed it. My friends in Gugulethu must be very happy.

I didn’t get the chance to throw the bones for the Stormers match, but it seems the ancestors have taken care of that result. Before I pass out again, let me share some of my mzanzi magic with you.

The Sharks are in deep cow shit. Too many injuries, too few tries scored and a long tour means they will come back to South Africa with little to show, baba. The Chiefs should take care of them quite easily.

Loftus will be happy the Bulls are back to winning ways. I don’t know where the Waratahs found this inner strength, but I think it won’t last much longer. Aussies know how to handle sheep, but bulls don’t like it up the asshole.

Whoever is victorious in Bloem will definitely be aquiring some major penis expansion. The Kings are still doing themselves proud, But SamGoma doesn’t believe they can beat the in form Cheetahs.

Atletico Madrid face Real Madrid in the Spanish capital’s derby match this Saturday. Los Blancos are hurting from that humiliation against Dortmund and need this win as the match will be repeated in the Copa Del Ray final. No more Liga or Champions League hopes means they have no other choice.

Man United are visiting Arsenal with the league already in the bag which means it’s time for Robin van Persie to show the Gunners what they lost. Chisa!

There is probably more sport on, but it has reached the time for me to pass out again. Hopefully I will sort my life out by next week. If not, Kortbroek will send out the address where my funeral will be held.

Enjoy majitas.

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